March 9
20:12 EST

So, here I am typing a journal entry which is probably not going to be read by anyone. But I'll write it anyway. Here's to you, Hanisah, for your request to update my journal. Right now, I'm studying to be a nurse and I'm going for my attachment to a polyclinic soon followed by the hospital. Many people have asked why I chose to join nursing. I know they don't really want to know why so I just gave them the old-fashioned answer which is " because I want to help others". It's not a lie though because I do want to help others. Throughout my life, I've felt pain and suffering brought about by the simplest of things such as an unkind word or someone ignoring you when you care so much for them. Through all the chaos and all the suffering that I've had, it made me realise the true meaning of peace. So back again, I do want to help others because I don't want them to go through pain and suffering. But that is impossible so all I can really do is to reduce their pain.

I'm not the type who would comfort you with a sweet story or life experience when you are sad. All I really can do is hold your hand while you cry. But I realise that there are other ways to help others and one is through your knowledge. A doctor uses his knowledge of medicine to cure others , not the love of his heart. That's why I want to be a paramedic. So I can be there when others need me most. A childish but still noble dream. I will accomplish it and move on to further things

I think of myself as a scientist, a discoverer. I seek to know and understand things. Knowledge as Socrates once said, is the cure for the ignorance, the only evil in this world. This journey to learn has many prices. People might look at you differantly as they have done to me. Knowledge to me is what makes me stand out from my peers. Because I seek knowledge while others spend their lives not knowing what they want. Looking at the people around me, I am disgusted sometimes by their lack of thinking and judgement leading them to problems that may have been caused by their ownselves and can be so easily solved.

Speaking of problem solving, I think most problems in life require a mind that cannot be moved while others, like relationship problems require an emotional heart. In all, problems appear all the time and if we do not seek a solution, we will be overwhelmed by it. I believe every problem has a solution.

Well, after reading through this entry, I think that I've roughly explained around 20% of what is going through my mind right now. The other 80% is on what I'm going to do after I end this entry. Well, someday I will attain what I want. Until then, it will be a journey. This is the final entry in this journal.

John